Thursday, March 29, 2007

Live vs Animation

At work in USA, and no access, nor desire (with the recent demise of Indian Cricket:( ) for Live Cricket. When I first started watching the representation of the current game on Cricinfo 3d, I thought it was pathetic, especially with the kind of graphics and animation that we are treated to these days. However, as I watch it more and more, I now feel like I am watching it live. I have begun to see the mannerisms of Stephen Fleming especially in his cover drives and the mis-timed pull over the bowler's head.

BTW, this match is over. NZ have far too much batting depth and WI have none whatsoever in their bowling.

Anonymous Amateur poetry

Gazing upon the dreary sky,
with the hope that rain will come.
The scent of dew filling the air,
and moisture building on my skin.

Lightning brightly veined and clear,
lighting the water before me.
Thunder hammering in my ears,
shaking the ground around me.
Seeing a single drop of rain
as it ripples through the water.

Suddenly feeling the powerful torrent
drenching my hair and clothing.
Overwhelmed by current surroundings,
pausing in the midst of the rain.
Gazing at the sky once more,
thanking the clouds above me.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Indian Cricket team bashings

In the aftermath of the Indian team's premature ejection from the ICC Cricket World Cup 2007 in the Carribean different people have chosen different ways of venting their frustration. Being an ardent fan, this hurts a lot but here's a select few (funny) emails doing the rounds.

The Times Of India 14th Feb,2009:

India is playing in a 5 nation tournament ;the other countries being Uganda, Sudan, Papua new guinea and the mighty Bolivia (Indescript nations with no cricket teams).Today is a must win match for India against tournament favourites Bolivia for a berth in the semi finals.The winner of the tournament will fight for a place to enter the top 35 rankings in the world.

On the morning of the match ,a strategy session is being held by Greg and Rahul.This is how it goes.

Greg:Boys,this is one of the most important matches in the last three years.We have to beat Bolivia.Lets go through the batting line up and the bowling line up in this meeting.

Greg:So Sourav ,you will open right?
Sourav:I don't know.Bolivia has a pace bowler who only bowls short pitch deliveries.His pace is consistently in the range 55-60 miles /hour.I cannot handle all that pace.
Greg:Oh,thats ok.He won't dare to bowl short pitch stuff against the Indian batsman(we have such good credentials).If he does by mistake,just to make a statement to the media,get Hit Wicket and come back.Such non sense should not be tolerated.

Greg:So who will partner Sourav.
Rahul:I think Sehwag should.He looked in form in the last game against Sudan.He hit 5 fours between first slip and second slip before he caught at second slip.I think he is in the pink of his form and he should open.
Greg:Thats good.

Greg:Sachin,you will bat at four ... ok?
Sachin:I don't know.I have to go shopping at 11.That means I can't bat beyond ten overs.
Greg:Sourav and Sehwag will last till six overs.So ,you will come then.Don't worry,just play your natural game and follow your instincts.You will go by ten overs.

Greg:So Dhoni,you will keep?
Dhoni:I am not keeping.Last time ,I kept for three hours.My hair is getting spoilt of this.I have thousands of lice in my hair.As a result,the cows in my village have started snubbing me and my advances.These days,dragonflies have started staying in my hair as their food lice is there.I need a haircut ,I am not playing.
Greg:Please play just one more match,its the mightly Bolivians ,just one last one.
Dhoni:Ok.Don't do it next time.

Greg meanwhile was going through the batting averages and noticed that Dravid had the longest stay at the crease for the last 67 matches.So he asked Dravid to give a presentation in front of the team as to what motivated him so much and the secret to his concentration.
Dravid:My wife is extremely ugly.So,I try to stay as long as possible away from her.That is why I play a low risk game(In the last game,he hit 3 runs from 92 balls). If I get out,I have to go back to her.

Everyone starts applauding. What an inspirational cricketer.

Now it is time to decide on the bowling line up.

Greg:Obviously Zaheer is opening.He was brilliant last game. (Zaheer had bowled only 23 wides in the last match and he picked up three wickets.The secret to this brilliant bowling performance was a result of a mentoring session from Venkatesh Prasad.Prasad told him that to bowl from mid off and aim at Third slip.As a result, Zaheer returned with the best figures in the match.)

Greg:Offlate I have noticed that Rahul has been facing a lot of pressure and so we have decided to come up with Batting,Bowling and Fielding Captain to relieve Rahul of some of the responsibility.

Greg:I have noticed that Munaf Patel has stayed not out in the last three matches(all the other batsmen had got out by then).I admire the commitment of this lad and as a result he is the Batting Captain.

Greg:I was also going through this figure.Sourav has been involved in 177 run outs.But he himself has never got out.He values his wicket so much.I think we all need to Congratulate him on the price he sets for his wicket.Sourav,you are the RUNNING BETWEEN THE WICKETS captain.

Greg:Anil has been sitting on the bench for the last three years.He keeps taking snaps throughout the match.He is such a teamman.I think we need to recognize this loyalty.Anil,you are the Bowling Captain.

Greg:Harbhajan is the fielding captain.
Rahul:But he dropped the catch in the last match when he dived to his right to take it.
Greg:Atleast he dived in the right direction.

After this intense brainstorming session ,India looks all set to take on Bolivia.Please pray for the team's success.

PS: The tournament's main sponsor is Ghatkopar(small suburb in Bombay where I am from) Software. They have a lot of money at stake.."


Email id's of cricketers

1.LAXMAN:
available@home-only.com

2.GANGULY:
nowdays@no_use.com

3.KUMBLE:
only@test_match.com

4.SACHIN:
admitted@hospital.com

5.KAIF:
good@for_nothing.com

6.SEHWAG:
consistently@out_of_form.com

7.DRAVID:
stick@crease_like_fevicol.com

8.PATHAN:
takewickets@only_with_keyna.com

9. GREG CHAPPELL
only_experiment@noresult.com


10. Munaf Patel
only_line&length@nospeed.com


11.Harbhajan Singh
no_spinpitch@nowicket.com

Best of Borat

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The (Oval) Office

Jackass North Korea

Funny Immigration video

Da vinci code with Oprah and guests

Gates vs Jobs



George Bush.. the comedian



Hilarious, Bush poking fun at himself (with Steve Bridges)!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Minnow bashing at the World Cup

Here's a funny look at the contrasting scores at concurrent ODI matches at the World Cup. You wonder which team is playing the minnow.






And here's India's minnow bashing

Monday, March 19, 2007

Nike... Just Did It !

First ever Cricket Commercial by Nike .. Gully Cricket redefined !




Lyrics (Translated from Konkani):

'Wait, partner, wait
First let me play
If you don't play, I'll keep chasing you all day
Our game is like this only
Where we have no time to think
It is the game of cat and mouse
That I have begun to love
And in the falling running breaking
My destiny is entwined'

Funny skit from Mad TV

Million Dollar Shots

Shortly before presumably considering filing for bankruptcy, the whisky company, Johnnie Walker, announced it was "absolutely delighted by the inspirational and pioneering feat that was today realized by Herschelle Gibbs". Apparently they "couldn't be more thrilled with donating US$1 million to Habitat for Humanity in our efforts to enrich the Caribbean community", and offered their "sincere congratulations for this amazing accomplishment".

Here's a video of the feat that indicates that Gibbs certainly "knows his boundaries"



Here's another piece of information to understand the nature of SA's victory. The eight-page print-out detailing every ball of Holland's Duckworth-Lewis requirements. To have won the game in the event of rain, the Dutch would need to have made their final total of 132 for 9 in less than a single delivery.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Funny, cricket clips

Funny collage of classic cricket clips

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Inhumane slaughter of Dolphins

This is unbeleivably sad



Narrated by Joaquin Phoenix